Figuring Out How to Deal With Loss Through the 5 Stages of Grief

grief loss It’s been a while since I’ve written a post. I have been trying to figure out how to deal with a loss unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Continue reading “Figuring Out How to Deal With Loss Through the 5 Stages of Grief”

New Year, New Goals! 2017’s Bucket List

Resolutions, goals, 2017, new year

I am not very good at new year’s resolutions, hence the fact that it is March and I am just now declaring my goals for 2017! If you are not the type of person that has ever written down your goals, and have no idea how to start, you may want to go back and read my post here. It outlines simple steps to setting short term and long term goals. Today, I want to focus on short-term goals; ones I hope to complete by the end of 2017. Continue reading “New Year, New Goals! 2017’s Bucket List”

5 Guilt-Free Ways to Manage Stress

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Our overall well-being is dependent on our ability to manage stress. As women, we often juggle many things at once and the stress can have ill effects on our health. It is important to remember that we cannot do any good for anyone if we are not taking care of ourselves first. It is easy to forget; we always run out of time; there is always something else more pressing to handle; we feel guilty for thinking of ourselves…STOP. Below are 5 guilt-free ways to help manage stress.

Exercise

This area is so broad; it can be anything from a marathon run to a walk down the hall to the bathroom. Seriously, if it is a walk to the bathroom, take a minute, stop what you’re doing and while you walk, actually pay attention to the walk. Don’t rush down the hall, do your business, and rush right back into the next thing on your to do list. Preferably, you will have more time in your day than a walk to the bathroom. If so, try to find something you will enjoy. Something that makes you want to keep doing it. Yoga,  swim, hike, bike, walk, run, ski, volleyball, anything as long as you find joy and it makes you smile. Be sure to pay attention while you’re in the moment and don’t get lost in the “what do I have to do as soon as this is over” thoughts. Using exercise to manage stress is about reducing your level of stress, not adding to it with another thing to do. Don’t get worked up about the activity, and do not feel guilty for spending time doing something that makes you feel good!

Meditation and Breathing

When it comes to using meditation to manage stress, I feel like people imagine this padded room, you sit in lotus position, quite, and eyes closed, and wait for a bell to ring to let you know you are done. It can be that….or you can simply sit at your work desk for 5 minutes and close your eyes and focus on your breathing (in…out…in…out…). Again, this is not an all or nothing activity. You don’t need special pillows, timers, music, and guides; you simply need to be still for a period of time and focus on your breathing. Another form of meditation is mindful meditation. You can do this while you’re doing the dishes, eating dinner, or taking a shower. Whatever your activity, focus on that activity. Be present and aware of your actions, motions, and breathing during the activity. Pay attention to your body relaxing during this activity.

Sleep

Oh man, I am bad at this one. Every single day I swear I will get more sleep. As soon as I lay down, my brain turns on and everything starts to flow! I find myself checking the clock and getting more and more frustrated the later it gets and finally around midnight, I get to sleep. I know how important it is to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, not only to manage stress, but also to allow your body to repair itself from the day; however, I struggle with getting 8 hours. Trust me when I tell you that sleep deprivation and stress are NOT a good combination. Some ideas to help fall asleep are: limit caffeine after noon, don’t nap in the afternoon (or if you do, not longer than 20 minutes), keep your bedroom temperature cool (60-67 degrees F), turn off electronics at least an hour before bedtime, and by all means, have sex! Sex actually reduces stress and increases oxytocin and dopamine which will make you feel sleepy. (Just don’t disrupt the sleep of your special someone, unless they don’t mind.) 🙂

Read

Whether it is fact or fiction, pick a genre you enjoy and lose yourself in a good book. Similar to television, books allow us to escape and forget reality for a time period, hence helping to manage stress. You can join a book club for some group fun or simply read alone at home in a favorite comfy spot. You can get books for free at your local library, so this doesn’t even have to cost you any money. If you prefer to purchase your books, I suggest checking out Amazon! Check out one of the running books I’ve read here, or one of the first novels I ever read by Wally Lamb here. The novel “She’s Come Undone” taught me how disappearing in a good book can be one the best feelings EVER!

Soak in a Hot Bath with Epsom Salt

ALL TIME FAVORITE!!! Epsom salt is one of my best friends! My absolute favorite kind is Dr. Teal’s with essential oils already added. Check them out here. Not only will it help relax you, the Epsom salt is good for recovering after exercise. This one idea is a definite winner to help manage stress. I actually use it after # 1, I incorporate #2 and #4, and I get nice and sleepy to help with #3. YEAH! See why it’s my favorite? 🙂 I make sure everyone else is tucked away nice and sound in their beds before I decide to soak.  I try to plan it when I know I will have at least 20 minutes of uninterrupted me time. Awe….feel it now.

What do you think? Have you tried any of these? Are there other ideas you practice? Please post your ideas in the comments below.

Womanhood and Self Discovery

Turning 40 years old this last year was life changing for me. I have never been bothered by a birthday, NEVER. But this one got me. It latched a hold and didn’t let go for a while. I still do not fully understand what it is that bothers me so much, but I’ve learned to deal with it and move on. I have learned to celebrate who I am, and embrace the struggles that brought me to where I am.

So, I decided to solidify this moment in time with a photo shoot. If you know me, you know it is difficult to get pictures beyond a selfie on the trail or our annual family photo day! This photo session was a little bit different. I found a local photographer, Ali, whose art is boudoir photography. Check out her website here.

Here I am, not even knowing the correct way to wear make-up; the idea of doing this photo shoot was completely outside my comfort zone! I wear comfortable clothes, running clothes, or work attire. I am NOT used to lingerie, accessories, and SUPER high heels! But, I did it and it was amazing. I saw myself like I have never seen myself before.

Ali has a way of making you feel sexy, honored, and powerful. I am so comfortable being the wife, mom, and boss. I never imagined myself as a sexy woman. That area of my life has always taken a back seat to being the one to “get shit done.” Who knew by taking an hour and a half one morning, I would have a life changing experience. I love to laugh. I love to smile. I never noticed how much I loved those things until that morning.

Each photo captured a different side of myself. A different challenge. A different experience. A different feeling. All the differences that make me, ME. It was amazing and I suggest every woman take a day and invest in themselves and DO IT! Trust me, if Ali can teach me how to be comfortable in this setting, she can teach anyone!

Today is Your Day! Goal Setting and Planning

Today I 
By Julie Hebert

Today I have decided,
That it's time to take control. 
There won't be anymore sitting,
And waiting, this is my goal.

Today I see it so clearly,
I am all that I have.
If I want to get something done,
It's up to me to pave my own path.

Today I will set my goal,
And work to see it through.
I'm tired of being afraid,
It's time for my dreams to come true.

Today I am quite happy,
And confidence has made its way too.
I as a person have grown,
From now on, to me I'll stay true.

As women, we often set ourselves aside to ensure everyone else’s needs are met. When I saw this poem, it reminded me to take time for myself first. To make sure I am setting my own goals, working on my own journey, and acting on my own passions. Goal setting is often treated the same as setting a budget. We just don’t do it. We think we know where we want to go and we think we are working toward that goal every day, but when you take the time to evaluate your goals versus your actions, sometimes they are not on the same path. The one theme in everything I do is to keep it SIMPLE. Life is difficult enough. To be successful in reaching our own goals, the plan must be simple and not take a great deal of time to set up, check up, and tweak. Below are some quick steps to get you started:

1: You should set three layers of goals: short-term (within 12 months), long-term (5 years), and daily. When thinking about each type of goal, I like to refer to Stephen Covey’s theory of “Begin with the end in mind.” You must first know where you’re going to understand how to get there.

2: Make a list for each type of goal. What types of things do you want to do each day? One of my daily goals is 5 minutes of quiet meditation. This does not seem like much, but that 5 minutes can save my day and my sanity! A short-term goal is to turn this blog into a financial stream, regardless of how minimal that stream may be, I want to figure out how to grow and be successful in this arena. Last, one of my long-term goals is to have one of my student loans paid off. (They have been haunting me for years and I want to get serious about getting rid of them!)

3: Give each goal a category. Different categories could be: financial, personal achievements, family, career, etc. I try to set multiple goals in each category but be careful not to overload yourself. This is not a setup to fail; this is a setup to achieve! If you are questioning whether you have the time to invest to reach a goal in 12 months, you may want to move it to the long-term goal column. Be kind to yourself. The goals should keep you motivated, not discouraged.

4: Take the time to review. Did you hit all your goals you set for today? Are you headed in the direction to cross off those annual goals? What changes do you need to make to get back on track? Are your goals still in line with where you want to end up?

Welcome!

Welcome to my journey. I look forward to figuring out this thing called life, now that I am 40 years in to it. Something happened when I turned 40. I am not sure how to explain it, but at first I was bothered by the number. I never had a birthday effect me quite like this one and I’m not even sure why. Maybe because I am so used to planning for the future that I forgot to live for today? Maybe because I am so used to playing things safe that I forgot to take some risks and see where I landed? Not sure. But here I am, right now, in this moment, and I am ready to share it all with you. Let’s go! Time is wasting. 🙂